Baby Minutia, Part 1: Zippers

zippersWhat kind of twisted, demented person decided to make sleeper onesies with snaps?!!!

A gazillion snaps up each leg and then a line of snaps to the neck. I still have traumatic memories of 2 a.m. feedings and diaper changes, fumbling miserably with each painstaking snap, thinking I finally assembled her properly, only to re-focus my tired eyes to find one pant leg wrapped around her head and an arm poking through the stomach snaps. When she outgrew the first round of snap sleepers, I searched the internet for zipper only footed onesies. They were life changing.

Did I really just say that?

“I quit my cubicle job and spent a year working in an elephant sanctuary in Africa. I helped save one hundred elephants from being poached. It was life changing.”

“I dropped out of business school, bought a one way ticket to Los Angeles and auditioned for the Groundlings. I got in and after a year NBC offered me my own show. It was life changing.”

“I always dreamed of hiking the Appalachian Trail but thought it was just something I wouldn’t be lucky enough to do. Then, one day, I packed up my hiking gear and made my way from Georgia to Maine. It was life changing.”

“Emmm…I switched to footed baby onesies with zippers instead of snaps. Diaper changes are so much more manageable now. It was life changing.”

Zipper onesies? Life changing? Really? What has become of me?

Oh…whatever! Zipper footed onesies ARE life changing!

They’re AWESOME. They are up there with the invention of the wheel and Nutella. And if I’m mocked by my pre-Dumpling self, that’s fine. I don’t care what she thinks anymore.


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